Next September I will have been a mother for twenty years. If you’re parent, either biological, foster, step or guardian, there’s probably no need for me to spell out the domestic duties involved with such a gift.
For quite some time before having my son and daughter I cooked, cleaned and shopped for their father right up until the day we parted. Then I fell crazily in love, took a new husband, and I have acquired two step children that stay regularly.
When I met my second husband I had two things that I needed to say. The first was that as soon as my daughter finishes school I plan to follow my dreams of travel. The second was “don’t tie me to the kitchen sink’’.
How does a mother and a wife get away with that? When you have a home to run and people you love coming and going, it’s really difficult not to be TIED TO THE SINK.
I can feel it brewing inside of me like a rebellious lighting storm. The closer my daughter gets to the end of her schooling, the stronger the instinctual urge is for me to burn the bra alongside with the dish gloves and modify my trusty kitchen broom into super magical flying machine and head for the stars.
How oh how do I come to terms with this? If I didn't step foot into another supermarket ever again I’d be a happy woman. What on earth will I cook tonight? Do I really need to mop today or will a good sweep do (again)? Surely there are some temples far off in another land that need discovering? See there I go off in another world again.
Brainstorm Annie, you coach people on shifting blocks like this. What would you tell advise them to do?
Gratitude is coming up.
I am grateful for the people that surround me.
I am grateful that I have money to go food shopping.
I am grateful that I have a beautiful home to clean.
I am grateful that I have all of the modern luxuries of domestic living.
Okay, is telling yourself to shut up and stop moaning and be grateful for what you’ve got going to truly help? The answer is yes, for now anyway. But it won’t stick long term. You need to devise a solution.
In 2017 both of my children will be adults, I know they can cook and use the washing machine. I’ve taught them myself.
Here is my plan, I am going to slowly wean this family of mine from the boob ‘YET AGAIN” and gradually hand over their domestic duties to them. I’ll replace the bot bot with responsibility and before too long they will be on their own.
That leaves me to look after my husband and I. This means I may still be tied to the kitchen sink from time to time. I’d better replace the dish gloves with a silk scarf.
Love and Blessings Annie Wilson